Andy's Fall of 90's Action Movie Reviews

Week 1 - Face/Off

holds up. Funny, fast-paced, and with amazingly staged and executed action scenes. It's also too long, but the performances keep it going. I give it 8 explosions out of 10.

Week 2 - Out For Justice

featuring Steven Seagal, William Forsythe, and Jerry Orbach.Hilarious, with some dull spots and lots and lots of cliche. Too weird and funny and violent to even accurately rate. Not good at all, but not bad at all either. I give it 6 out of 10 random murders.

Week 3 - Rumble in the Bronx

With Jackie Chan-Starts slowly, then just rolls right along pretty nonstop for a good hour. Jackie Chan is amazing, even after seeing this movie many, many times, I was still gasping and laughing at the ridiculous stuntwork. Definitely worth a re-watch. I give it 8 out of 10 hovercrafts.

Week 4 - Desperado

Starring Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, and many others. Not as good as you remember it being. LOTS of down spots, and can't seem to make up it's mind whether it wants to be an arthouse film or a dumb action movie. Some good parts, but the action scenes blur together and the jokey stuff just isn't funny e...nough. Steve Buscemi is awesome as usual, I give it 5 out of 10 piss-warm chongos.

Week 5 - Cliffhanger

Starring Sylvester Stallone, John Lithgow, and the dad from Mallrats. Incredible, top-notch stunts. After something like 15 minutes of setup, turns into nonstop action and peril for the next hour or so. Well thought-out scenes buckle a bit under TERRIBLE dialogue, like as bad as Out for Justice in some parts. All in all, I give it 7 out of 10 Lithgows.

The Return of "Guess What Sucks" KICK ASS

This guy again? Motherfucker please.

Hello my little darlings. Its been a while and I cant help that things keep sucking. I kinda ran out of steam towards the end of the initial blog and for that I apologize. If it were up to me Id have vitriolic spew being put down at a record pace… but alas I just couldn’t muster up the feeling to explain the nature of “suck” anymore.

That was then. This is now. Thanks to this new forum and a reinvigorated sense of nausea I now have another outlet to be able to explain and point out these things that uhhh how you say… suck a long hard one.

OK enough with remember when… Here is goes. Don’t get scared now.

I wasn’t terribly excited about the movie Kick Ass when I first read about it. Comic book movies are still apparently King Shit of Hollywood Mountain so it didn’t surprise me to see that yet ANOTHER comic book was being adapted into a ANOTHER flashy colorful movie.

I ended up being hung over earlier this week and I snagged a rental copy from my local redbox out of sheer boredom. I had no idea what I wanted to see and it seemed to pop out and go HEY maybe Im good!?!?

Maybe was wrong. What I was right though was my suspicion of Kick Ass sucking. Which it did.

(click read more to finish article)

Buying a house...for the rest of your life

       Johanna and I are purchasing a home. I am very excited and right now we are in the "option period" which is the 11 days after the sellers accept your offer. When you buy a house you might not know all the stuff you go through in order to move in. You would think it was fairly simple. You give money to someone for a house and then you move in. Well it is not simple at all, and I would suggest that you be prepared for a silly crazy money signing tax paper explosion of work. I have to give it up to Johanna who has been working basically around the clock to make this happen. First you find a house, it has to be the right house. Right location, do you like the layout, the yard, the bathrooms, but wait you will own the house so you can change the bathroom. This changes your view of a house, but what if you do not want to change the bathroom or kitchen or redo the floors because you do not want to spend the money. So you want a nice house with some updates so you do not have to do them yourself, but you do not want to spend too much money on the house, and updates mean more money. So what do you do. Well when you find the house you will just know. You find the house and you want it. You call your realtor and put a bid in. Make sure your printer and scanner work...oh you don't have a scanner, whats wrong with you, its 2010. Oh you are not rich like everyone else, I get it. So use the one at your work, but don't let anyone know because you might get into trouble. So print the bid and sign it then send it back. They accepted your offer, this is great, now you have 11 days to do all this: get the house inspected, you might want to get a plumbing inspection, and a termite inspection, all this costs money. The inspector will give you a run down.....wait a second, the bank who is lending the money for the house wants you w2's from the last 2 years, oh and your paycheck stubs from the last 2 months. What? you don't have all this just perfectly filed away to use. Well you better call your work and get this stuff. Mind you only have 11 days so you better make it quick, OK send that into the bank lender. Back to the inspector, their is about 8,000 dollars worth of problems with the house, and this is normal and small. If there had been a problem with plumbing or foundation then you probably wont get the house. So 8,000 is not much. Did you make sure you can afford the monthly payments by using the mortgage calculator on the website you found the house on. You mortgage come out to a fairly low price, nice, but now add taxes and insurance to it and it almost doubles. No joke 40% of my monthly mortgage will go right to taxes and insurance. So now tell the sellers that you want them to fix the 8,000 dollars worth of problems and hopefully you can work out a deal. You still have to get the house appraised and then finally sign the huge million page contract for the bank to get the money. Also if the appraisal of the house, which is done by the bank, comes out to less than what you are buying it for then the sellers have to lower their price, if they don't then you don't get the house. The bank is not going to pay more than the house is worth. So you got insurance right. This is also hard because a lot of places won't insure you depending on the area or the house or you. Oh also if their is a hurricane in the gulf on the day of closing the house then you can't get it. The bank and the insurance place is not going to buy this house or insure it if a hurricane is just going to destroy the house in 2 weeks. All this costs money and time. One other thing is that since you only have 11 days to do all this, it is non stop. You might a get an email at 9:30 telling you to send in some form you didn't sign. Its crazy!!!

Hopefully when all this work is said and done you will have a home. Maybe it did not work out and you will have to do all this over again. I just hope a get a handshake somewhere in all this from someone, anyone, will someone please just shake my hand. I give you money for a house and you shake my hand. done!!!

DALLAS CITY

Stuff I Had #1

 Long before Johnny Depp captured our attention as Captain Jack Sparrow, Lego knew pirates were totally awesome. The Danish company has been making killer pirate-themed Lego set for decades, but none more majestic than the Barracuda. Along with a killer design, this set had a multitude of great pieces including working cannons, a sexy girl pirate (as far as Lego People go) and a monkey!

I used to have this Lego pirate ship. The name of the ship was The Barracuda. It was one of the coolest things ever. I remember getting this when I was about 10 years old. Soon after I got it we moved to Texas and I insisted that we take it all put together because I had spent so much time putting it together. We were living in an apartment and my brothers and I were sharing a room for a while until we found a house in Texas. The Lego ship was on top of a dresser and we had bunk beds. One day I heard Jacob accidentally knock it over and I was devastated. Which is a little strange seeing that I could just rebuild it. This thing was awesome, it had little gold coins you could put in a treasure chest and a dingy boat and..I mean just look at it, its amazing!! Lego's are not cheap is something I found out later in life, so I would like to thank my parents for buying me the Lego Pirate Ship Barracuda. 

Upcoming flicks for the fall season

Here is a short list of my most anticipated movies for the rest of 2010. This is when the good movies come out. The summer blockbusters are over and now it is time for the goods. I will say that they have created a new winter blockbuster season. I guess people like seeing movies during the holiday season because the family likes to go to the theaters instead of really talking to each other. I don't know, but there is something to be said for memories and movies. I remember seeing Back to the Future II on thanksgiving day with all my cousins. That was good, anyways here you go:

Houston Summer 2010

I have to say this has been one of the best summers I have ever had. Starting from May to the end of August. Friends and family came to visit us in the hot hot heat of Houston. Summer blockbusters and new music are always a nice addition. Oh yeah Johanna and I found out we were having a little girl. Easy one of the best Summers. Here are the highlights folks:

May:

We start of by seeing IRON MAN 2 with Andy and Falon, oh yeah Jacob was there too. The first summer blockbuster of the year is always fun. To me this had everything I was looking for in a big budget summer movie.

Danny flys to Dallas. Danny and Marshall drive to Houston. Debbie Swan then flys to Houston. This is all for the Season finale of LOST. Well and also to visit and see Jack I guess. First night here we have a boys night at home and Jacob cuts his hair into the shape of a mullet. Mullet Memoirs is born. You can watch this by clicking the link here:  http://www.facebook.com/maxpule?v=app_2392950137#!/video/video.php?v=131663090180157 , I think the movie speaks for itself. Oh its Friday and I here a knock at the door. Who is it you ask, a one Mr. Barret Walker here to surprise me. Totally awesome "you didn't think I would let you guys watch LOST all by your self do ya" So now we have Danny Pule, Debbie Swan, Marshall Read, Barret Walker, Deana, Jacob Pule, Max and Johanna and of course Jack. This is awesome we sit around and visit, eat BBQ, drink and play dice into the night. Oh wait, I forgot to mention all while listening to Pure Passions Volume 1. Sunday roles around and we go to the Beach. High waves and nice weather topped off with some fresh seafood at shrimp n' stuff. Head home and prepare ourselves for the dramatic season finale to LOST. My cousin Tony Pule drops in to the viewing party as well. LOST, how I miss you, We gasped and cried and said our goodbyes to one of the best shows ever, LOST. Then we bid farewell to each other the next morning.

Almost Immediately after Danny and Co. left Matthew and Emily showed up. It was very nice, we went to the aquarium with Jack and ate delicious Houston food. Usually when we visit Kansas City we only see Matthew and Emily for an afternoon or an evening, so it was nice to spend a little time and visit. WE took our very first visit to the Houston Zoo and we watched Pee Wee's Big Adventure which I had not seen in a very long time and still is hilarious. Matthew, Jacob and I watched a lot of 80's WWF wrestling on youtube. Like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoUvE8-GPoE&feature=related , We had lots of fun.

June:

No visits this month we just did all the summer stuff. Water parks and walks, playing outside with Jack and having a lot of fun. Now that Jack is a little older he can do much more. Run around and get into trouble. Jacob and i started hanging out at Andy's every week and thats nice to get out of the house. So June was a solid month of fun in the sun, Topped off with Toy Story 3 in theaters which was like visiting old friends.

July:

We start with the forth of July, this might have been one of the best. We had it at Johanna's parents house and everyone showed up. All the family and it was the first time in a long time I have had a forth like this. Grilling outside and kids running around. It was really nice. At the end of the night we all piled in cars or walked to see the Houston fireworks display. Jack's first encounter with this was something to behold. He is not accustom to staying up late so he was falling down and a little fussy but then the works started and he was fixated on them. As you are older things stop having meaning, but then you have a child and you see things through them. Fireworks are magical and fun. My mothers birthday is on the 5th so it is also nice to be with her on the 4th. She held Jack while he gazed up at the sky popping lights.

About a week later Faith and Chris came into town for a visit. I always miss Faith a bit, and it is nice to see her. So we left Jack with my mother and went out to eat which was nice. Faith loves Jack and it shows. It is nice to them play together. We planned to Johanna's sonogram while they were in town because Faith prides herself on being the first to know things. We originally wanted a girl for our first, now I can not imagine having a girl. Low and behold the results were in and we were having a littel baby girl. Johanna screamed in the room and we rejoiced. I can not wait for this. There has not been a girl Pule for many generations to my knowledge. I hope this one lives up to the legacy.

Once in a while we are graced with an amazing movie that blows us away in the theater. This movie is Inception. It was amazing, and lead to many emails between Michael Mcglothin and I debating and discussing the film. Inception is the best movie I have seen all year.

At the end of the month Johanna's father, Andy, Jacob and I took in a baseball game at minute maid park. The Astros

August:

First week in Ausgust we get a visit from Barret Walker and Jason Galaway. They are only here for a few days, but we make the most of it. first night Johanna takes Jack and spends the night at her parents. So naturally we do what we do best and we get really drunk and make another installment to the 38MB Mustache Memoirs saga. Which can be viewed her. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stVBVk1CU4Q

The night was full of fun. Then the next day we ate at El Rey and just hung out. The movie speaks for the time we had which was awesome.

Jack starts school, well kinda, see previous blog about Jack starting school for more. So Jack starts school and this to me means the end of Summer. Jack is a little hesitant but he likes it.

To wrap it up the new Arcade Fire album come out and I think it does an amazing job of expressing the feeling of getting older, leaving home, being scared and happy at the same time when you think of the past. I love this album and to me it is the perfect soundtrack to the Summer. it really is the best album I have heard in a while. Example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAitZuh4ueg

In the end I had such a great time, and I am sure that I leaving out much more. Getting older is hard and also fun, but hard. These memories will be forgotten by some and cherished by others. They may alter in your mind or stay the same. I can only hope that in the years to come that we still have good movies, good food, good music, and even better, good friends to share them with.

Andy's 90's action movie update

Week 1 - Face/Off 

holds up. Funny, fast-paced, and with amazingly staged and executed action scenes. It's also too long, but the performances keep it going. I give it 8 explosions out of 10.                                                                            

Week 2 - Out For Justice

featuring Steven Seagal, William Forsythe, and Jerry Orbach.Hilarious, with some dull spots and lots and lots of cliche. Too weird and funny and violent to even accurately rate. Not good at all, but not bad at all either. I give it 6 out of 10 random murders.

Jack's Lost Blog

I feel bad because I had started a blog when Jack was first born. It was to be all about Jack. It is hard to maintain a blog when you are first learning how to be a parent. So I pretty much abandoned it. Sorry Jack. Here are the few posts I did when he was first born. Click the read more link.