Sorry I can't get drunk because I have two kids

I just wanted to apologize to everyone for not being able to get out of my mind drunk because I have two kids. I know it sucks for you, but imagine how I feel. I have only been drunk like 47,000 times. I probably have been drunk more days than my son has been alive. lets see, he is about 720 days old roughly, I have been drunk 47,000 times, subtract that....yup, more than that. I just feel bad because I have only been hanging out with my friends and getting drunk since I was about 18, so that is only about 10 years of hanging out and getting drunk. To some it might not be a big deal, but I really miss staying up or out most of the night and getting obliterated.  My son is almost 2 years old. So that is 2 years now that I have not been able to do this. I know I know, 2 years, that is a long long time to not get totally hammered. I just feel bad for all of you, no not feel bad, I'm jealous really. When you get really shit faced, you don't have to worry about your kids waking you up, or if something happened in the middle of the night. I mean every time I see one of my friends hanging out and getting drunk I think to myself, "man I wish I didn't have kids" I could still be living it up drinking beer. I mean I guess I could get really drunk, yeah whats the big deal, my wife can handle it. I just hope something doesn't happen like Jack falls out of bed and my wife is feeding the baby so I have to deal with it...lame, I'm drinking, leave me alone, it would be such an inconvenience. They really do get in the way you guys. Do not have kids, and if you do make sure you think to yourself, well yeah this is going to suck for a while, but I will be back hanging out in no time. Ain't Nobody gonna hold me down.